Our little bundle

Picture property of Ms. S

...arrived on August 24th and has been keeping this mama busy ever since. Not that I'm complaining. He's really quite precious, and I absolutely love being little Pumpkin's mama.

Since Pumpkin arrived, some things have changed around the house. At least two loads of laundry are done everyday, for example (cloth diapers). Dishes are done more regularly - sometimes by me!! Mr. S is thrilled. I don't get the chance everyday, as often just when I'm about to start someone wakes up from his nap. Oh well. The bathroom is now usually cleaned in stages. One day, the shower will get cleaned. The next day (or the day after that) the toilet will get cleaned. And finally, the sink will get cleaned. Sometime. And that's ok...mostly because it has to be ok. A child quickly teaches you to roll with the punches. And the rest of the house is in a general state of disarray. We pick up when we have the chance. Ok, more like when company is coming over.

Bottom line is this: we're having so much fun.

Words from the Pregnant Lady

I could (and should and will) update you on the lovely painting job my mom did in our bedroom earlier this week. The bedroom that all three of us will share - Husband, Baby, and me. I could also tell you about the new fabric I picked up tonight to make new curtains for either our kitchen or living room (haven't decided for sure which place they'll go yet). However, what's really on my mind is the need to vent a little and impart some (hopefully humorous) words of wisdom when encountering a pregnant lady - or at least this one.

1. Do you know how many times a day a pregnant lady is asked "how are you feeling?" Mmmm....it depends on how many people the lady encounters, but suffice it to say too many. I know and understand it's meant to show you care and most of the time it's truly a sincere question. The problem is two-fold. First, I feel like I've already told everyone and their mother how I'm feeling, so I just get tired of sharing because my answer really doesn't change. And second, you don't actually want me to always be honest with you. For example, I'm not about to say, "Great, except it's harder than heck to poop!!" Or "I'm experiencing something akin to menstrual cramps but 20 times worse as my stomach stretches, thanks for asking." Don't think I haven't been tempted, though! ;)

2. Why are people obsessed over pregnancy cravings? I swear my co-workers (often the same ones) ask me something about this at least 3 or 4 times a week. Do you realize not everyone craves anything let alone weird things? In fact, at this stage in pregnancy food is SO uninteresting to me that the only thing that bothers me more than having to eat it is talking about it.

3. People (lots) are starting to ask me if I'm feeling the baby kick. The question is well-meaning, which I appreciate, but the problem is I have no idea how to respond. The truth: No, I don't, actually because my placenta is between my outer belly and the baby, cushioning it's smaller movements. I only feel the big ones. But my baby is healthy and thriving. What I usually say: Oh yes.
Who wants to hear (or cares) about the placement of my placenta? I'd rather not explain, give a quick answer, and have people move on.

4. I haven't experienced morning sickness. And after 3 or 4 weeks, my answer still hasn't changed. Plus, do you really want to know? Really???

5. Nope, we're not finding out the baby's gender. Nope, neither of us feels a compelling need to know. In fact, we WANT to be surprised. So please can any complaints about not knowing what to buy or the colors you feel you're now limited to. We happen to like green and yellow; we'd happily dress a girl in blue; and did orange, red, purple, brown, black, white, and gray suddenly disappear from the color spectrum? Green and yellow are not your only options. Just sayin'.

6. Baby names. Oh, dear me, baby names. This is something that everyone seemingly wants to know about. We aren't sharing or taking suggestions. Period. And we have good reasons for it. Allow me to share a few of them.
     a. Everyone has opinions about names, but this baby is ours - not everyone else's.
     b. Choosing names is an incredibly personal thing for Husband and me, and it's a way for us to bond over and get to know our little one before he or she arrives. That's for us. Not everyone else.
     c. Humans are, by nature, judgmental creatures. We don't want to know what your opinion is about a name we like before we decide to give it to our child. You'll know when our child is named.
    d. We have a list and some favorites, but ultimately, we want to see our baby first before we decide on a name. And therefore, aren't looking to be swayed by anyone but that precious babe on its birth day.

7. Then there are ultrasound pictures. Something just as personal, if not more so, than baby names. Can I just tell you that these are the strangest looking pictures ever? On the screen, we had little trouble identifying what we were seeing. The print outs look like alien blobs. These alien blobs are not something I want to share on facebook or with the world. We'll show our parents and siblings...maybe others? Besides the pictures being small and hard to see, they represent an intensely personal moment for us as parents - it's the first time we saw our baby. Our baby who is still growing and squirming in my belly. Our baby who isn't fully formed. Our baby who will be here in a shorter time than we think. So, forgive us if we aren't quick to share this with you.

8. There seems to be a hazing ritual that occurs between established parents and new parents that differs for each sex. Established fathers tell fathers-to-be how much life is going to change (ultimately for the worse) once the baby arrives, and how much harder it's going to be in a seemingly light-hearted, half-joking kind of way. Established mothers share childbirth horror stories and/or child birthing tips. Does it occur to those fathers that Mr. S is excited to be a daddy? Does it occur to those mothers that my child birth experience will be unique because my body is different than theirs? If either Mr. S or I want to know something, we'll ask. Otherwise, what happened to the mantra "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?"

*9. (Added after initial post). Parenting starts even before the baby comes. We've been making some decisions already that will impact the way we raise and live with our little one. Decisions like OBGYN vs. midwife, hospital vs birthing center vs home birth, whether or not to breastfeed, how we'll sleep, etc. These decisions were very carefully thought out and come to with the help of information provided by our midwives and the reading we've been doing. And some key friends whose opinions we solicited. Giving us your unsolicited opinion about what we've decided as far as sleeping arrangements go is akin to me coming into the lunchroom and telling you the diet you're on is all wrong. What do I know about your diet? Why should I care about your diet? What do you know about how we want to raise our baby? What do you know about our sleeping habits? And why in the world do you care enough to offer an opinion? I don't mind sharing this information with friends who are honestly and sincerely curious about what we've decided and why we came to that decision - they aren't looking to offer an opinion or pass judgment. They know we're thoughtful people and there's a reason why we chose one thing vs another and want to be more informed and enlightened. They respect our opinions even if their own opinions are different.

Ultimately, it's not that we don't want you to share in our joy or be curious. It's that pregnancy is an intensely personal experience. Under normal circumstances, I don't share every detail of my life. But as a pregnant lady it seems expected that this should change and I don't entirely understand why. I try very hard to be respectful of people's curiosity and sincerity, and I never intend to offend. Please try to extend the same courtesy to us. Soon enough, our baby will be here for us to pass around and share - fully formed and outside of my body, a delightful, curious little person. When we can place our child in your arms, we'll be happy to share him or her with you, but for now we're let us enjoy and bond over this experience sharing with you what we choose - what isn't too personal.

~Ms. S

Brilliant

Image from the Container Store

Sorry for the lack of updates recently. There was a debacle at the end of my spring break where we switched internet providers and ended up without it for an agonizing 72 or so hours - during which time I replaced all of (our only two) phone jacks in an attempt to fix the problem and avoid paying the new provider $85!!!! Who wants to pay that much for a service you haven't even enjoyed yet? Thankfully, I inherited some of the stubborn, practical, do-it-yourself-if-you-can mentality from my dad's side of the family. Had I ever done anything with wires before? Nope. The salesman at Menards assured me it was a very straight forward task to replace phone jacks, and for just about $6.00 I decided I could give it a try. I have to brag a little bit because not only did I replace the jacks, but in the process found a wire with a lot of its colored coating left on and thought, "I need a wire stripper!" Pretty sure I've never used one before. Have no idea when or where I would have learned to use one, but I found the wire stripper right away in our tool box and put it to good use!

Enough on that story. It didn't fix the problem, by the way. But we did eventually end up with internet again (obviously), and didn't have to pay the fee. And since spring break my social life has picked up exponentially. More accurately, my social life now exists! How exciting, right?

This post will be a little short, but I just wanted to share something with you that I think is *brilliant*! As I was visiting with a good friend last week, we got onto the subject of kids. She has two stunningly adorable little boys - 1.5 years and 2 months - and she was wondering when we might be starting our family. As much as some of you family that read this might like to know the timeline for the S clan, we're keeping that under wraps. My friend, however, has a close group of girl friends and all of them have had babies in the past 2 years. So, she bought plastic tubs - one for each friend - and labeled a tub with their name and gave them the instructions to label and keep their maternity clothes in these tubs.

I'm not super familiar with maternity clothes, so Gretchen filled me in - you don't want to buy everything for yourself since it's just 9 months. Supplementing a personal stash with some borrowed clothes is the way to go. Her bins are just fabulous for this, and clearly shows she's a thinker! Now, as this group of girl friends' extended friends begin to start families, they know exactly where their maternity clothes are and can give their friends the entire bin. Once their friend has had her baby, the bin is returned. Genius, I tell you! Not only does it keep you organized from the get-go, it's an amazing reusable gift for your friends.

Till next time....
~Ms. S